March
26th,
2008 |
Grude
Match |
Coroner's
Report: Case
History: The subject, a septuagenarian by the name of James Douglas, appears
to have died as the result of what the papers are calling a "Grudge Match
of Biblical Proportions." The accused, one Robert "Lazy Eye Bob" Jennings,
was said to have started the fight over who had the right to deflower
a certain vestigial virgin. The two squared off in the town's square,
engaging in a "Duel to the Death", each wielding the traditional "tube
sock full of gravel" and swinging at each other with windmill motions.
One spectator was heard to say "Coor blimey, Bob just smacked the crap
outuv'im, dinnhe?"
|
|
one of the redlands