Medium:
Illusion… or reality!?
Time: is but a state of mind
Early on
in his career as a traveling magician, Jesus attracted many followers
with the 'miracles' he performed. Although he is famous for this maniacal
cult of dazzled individuals, what is not well known is that Jesus' antics
also attracted the attention of other entertainers.
These performers of lesser skill were keen to learn the secrets of Jesus
'The Magical Megalomenizical Messiah', and would follow him from town
to town hiding amongst his many fans. Although Jesus easily performed
several miracles daily (from bringing the dead back to life, to walking
on water, to catering for over 5000 people at a moment's notice) no one
could ever make out how he did it, and he would share his secrets only
with his closest disciples. This left many would-be messiahs with no choice
but to use cheap imitation miracles in their own shows.
Depicted here is one of the last attempts to captivate an audience by
the late 'David Blaine', who was previously, and better, known as John
'Baptissimo' before a run-in with the law forced him to change his name.
Fortunately for John, the local constabulary lopped off his assistant's
head by mistake, leaving him to change his name and escape sneakily off
to the next town.
His main act was based on a misunderstanding of Jesus' resurrection of
Lazarus. Rather than bringing anyone back from the dead, this more mundane
rendition simply involved him not dying. People of the time were much
easier to entertain (their intellect being just above borderline retarded),
so despite its obvious flaws the show achieved a modicum of success.
All this came to an abrupt end one night when he jumped out of the coffin,
shouted "I'm still alive!", and was promptly crushed to death by a large
woman who had fallen from the upper balcony in a swoon of disbelief.
The
crowd later sued for false advertising.
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