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Feb 06, 2008                                      
Art Depreciation.com presents...

The Plan


               

               

 

The Perfect Plan
Date: Better Times
Medium: Pathetic contempt for one's betters, on canvas

Ms Madame Etmonsieurs was a lowly woMan, performing the usual Victorian duties rightfully expected of her species, including cleaning the floor with her tongue and cleansing the chamber pot with naught but her hair. Indeed, she showed an excellent, almost Masculine level of skill at killing rodents about the house in a series of hot-oil-and-pudding fights. This was, of course, for the amusement of any Man who cared to watch (and spit on her) as she writhed in a variety of greasy fluids, chilled deserts, and rodent carcasses. Quite a tasty sight!

Indeed, it was a great time for any Man to be alive.

However, inside Ms Etmonsieurs, unholy ambitions to reach above her degenerate female position began to grow. Deciding to rise up off her back and up onto her knees, she began planning what would later be seen as the greatest coup of woManhood's history.

Her primary Owner (Father to the majority of her children, as well as the one most responsible for her general upkeep) was one Count Sebastian Chocula, who was at the time engaged in researching whether a wife-tool might also be used as a method of conveyance. Sadly, He was to have His brilliant work abruptly cut short when He fell prey to the demonic schemings of his ungrateful woMan-beast.

Along with her 5 whelps (sired by various Owners, which was Mandatory at the time for such creatures as she), Ms Etmonsieurs plotted to kill the Count through an elaborate ritual of poisoning, choking and genital mutilation. The plan was executed meticulously, the children and mother united under their satanic ideals of "equality" (as if such a thing could exist!). They left the Honorable Count Chocula writhing in pain, Nut Sack gaping, His genius and bodily fluids slowly leaking from His body.

As word of the events began to spread, the ritual killing of Owners became popular throughout Europe, to the great and final detriment of western civilization as a whole (if indeed, we can still call ourselves "civilized" in a land where any woMan may wear pants, or may walk in public without her leash firmly in the controlling hand of a Man). Her actions would grow into the suffragette's movement, and they, in honor of Ms Etmonsieurs' initial efforts, later commissioned this painting in her memory (censoring the nudity, pudding, and dead rodents which would surely have been present at the actual event). They also adopted her slogan 'Poison the Ungrateful Bastards!', which can be found on a number of suffragette plaques throughout the major European cities.

And sadly, nothing was ever the same again…


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

one of the redlands