'A Timeless Piece'
(acrylic on canvas, by the late Reginald Archibong)
After
many years of destitution and sparse success, Reginald Archibong had grown
irritated with the public lack of appreciation for his paintings of badgers
with furrowed brows musing over the blueprints of various siege devices.
Believing himself to be ahead of his time, he decided to 'quit the art
racket' to take up a more fruitful trade: snake wrestling.
The very night before he was due to start his illustrious career under
the big top, his teeth already sharpened and the requisite mongoose attached
to his inner thigh, he was awoken from his slumber by a vision. He claimed
to have seen the future and proceed to paint work you see here before
you.
The public reaction was not good, as the year was 1982, and this image
clearly depicted attire and people from the past.
The Church's response was even more severe than that of the public's furrowed
brow. Cardinal Dukesburg, believing this to be an act of heresy, went
to Mr Archibong's house and performed religious ritual number 257: "The
Galileo Platter", relieving Mr Archibong of his head as well as his
other rather heavy limbs.
In 1989, upon witnessing the Archibong prophecy come true in a never aired
television episode (blocked by religious pressure) called 'Bandits of
the Sunless Valley', Cardinal Dukesburg attempted to atone for his rash
act by having 5 babies sacrificed to the lord. This, however, failed to
slake the church's blood lust, and they proceeded to perform religious
ritual number 722: "Inquisition Tea Time", where he was forced
to eat his own entrails, after his stomach had been sliced open and his
sinly insides liberated.
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