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The
Trial of Socrates (1787)
This week's painting depicts the trial and death of the renowned philosopher
and gangsta rapper Socrates. Accused of murder in 399 BC, Socrates posed
the question "Did the punk ass bitch deserve it?" (which was in keeping
with his "Bitches ain't shit" philosophy, as well as his "Socratizzle
Method") He then proceeded to drink a forty ounce malt liquor laced with
hemlock, flashed a gang sign (reported to be the sign of the 48th Street
Spartans), sent a shoutout to his posse, and died.
Socrates' homie, Crito, criticized him after the trail, saying: "Soc'
was a punk ass little bitch. Everyone knows Xenophon was the one dat pulled
the bowstring. They were out trying to cap a tortoise, and that mofo just
was in the wrong place, wrong time, nahmean? Stupid ass Soc' coulda spoke
up, save his baby's momma havin' to raise dem kids." Socrates' influence
is felt throughout western philosophy and hip-hop.
His student, Lil' Plato, borrowed many of the key tenets of the Socratizzle
Method in his treaties: "Bro's Up, Ho's Down." and "Allegory of the Cizzle".
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